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  ‘Where are we going?’ he asked.

  ‘To the showground,’ said Pearl. ‘It’s where the parade ends.’

  Mitch peered nervously ahead.

  ‘Wouldn’t we be better off going somewhere else?’ he said. ‘Where we’re not, you know, expected.’

  Pearl shook her head.

  ‘We’ve got to face them sooner or later,’ she said.

  Mum and Howard and Mitch’s parents were waiting at the showground.

  As the Capri rolled through the gates, Pearl saw Mum’s face and Pearl’s guts started to roll too.

  She’d never seen Mum so angry.

  Mum dragged her out of the car even before it had completely stopped.

  ‘How dare you?’ shouted Mum. ‘How dare you ruin my parade?’

  ‘Do you know the penalties for car theft?’ shouted Howard.

  ‘How dare you make me a laughing stock in front of my clients?’ shouted Mum.

  ‘Jail, that’s the penalty,’ shouted Howard.

  ‘Not just local clients, overseas clients,’ shouted Mum.

  ‘How do you think your mother would feel with you in jail?’ shouted Howard.

  ‘You selfish, selfish, selfish girl,’ shouted Mum.

  Pearl was dimly aware that Mitch was copping it from his parents.

  Even though she was being shaken and deafened and sprayed with saliva, Pearl managed to glance over to see how he was.

  Which is how she came to see Gran slumped motionless in the car, arm hanging over the door, face on the steering wheel.

  Nobody shouted in the hospital waiting room.

  Mum and Howard and Mitch’s parents stared at the carpet, white-faced and silent.

  Pearl wouldn’t have cared if they had yelled.

  All she cared about was Gran.

  If I’ve made her worse, she thought, I’ll never forgive myself.

  She wondered if jails accepted people who asked to be locked up for long sentences.

  If they don’t, she thought miserably, I’ll do solitary confinement in my room for twenty years.

  She could see that Mitch, sitting hunched between his parents, was feeling the same way.

  When the doctor came in, Pearl was first on her feet.

  ‘You can see her now,’ said the doctor, ‘but I have to warn you, she’s very, very ill.’

  Everyone followed the doctor.

  ‘You stay here,’ Mum snapped at Pearl.

  No way, said Pearl to herself.

  She followed them down the corridor at a distance.

  When she got to Gran’s room and peeked in, they were all standing round the bed looking at Gran, who was lying ashen-faced on a pile of pillows with several tubes connected to her.

  ‘How are you feeling, Mum?’ said Howard.

  ‘Tops,’ wheezed Gran. ‘All except my body. It’s a bit crook. In fact I reckon it’s a goner.’

  Mitch’s mum took Gran’s hand.

  ‘Don’t say that, Mum,’ she said. ‘Tomorrow morning you’ll be in the air ambulance and by lunchtime you’ll be in the hands of the best specialists in Australia.’

  Gran took several deep wheezy breaths.

  ‘You’ve all been wonderful,’ she said, ‘but there’s something I want to say to you all, and that specially includes Mitch and Pearl.’

  Pearl realised Gran was beckoning to her.

  She took a deep breath and walked into the room, trying not to meet any of the adults’ eyes.

  Gran beckoned her closer and took her and Mitch’s hands.

  ‘Thanks to my two wonderful grandchildren,’ said Gran, ‘today has been one of the best days of my life.’

  Gran gave them both a painful grin.

  Pearl was aware that the adults behind her were shuffling and muttering.

  ‘And I reckon,’ wheezed Gran, ‘that’s the best way to call it quits.’

  ‘Nonsense Mum,’ said Howard. ‘You’re going to be fine.’

  ‘No, I’m not,’ said Gran. ‘So here’s what I’m gunna do. You people in this room are all the people I love in the world. After I’ve said goodbye, and told you what sort of funeral I want, I’m gunna speak to the very nice people at this hospital and ask them to give me an injection somewhere where it doesn’t hurt.’

  The room was silent.

  Pearl saw the adults glancing at each other, puzzled.

  Then she realised Gran was looking straight at her.

  ‘And after it’s put me out of my misery, young lady,’ said Gran with a tiny painful smile, ‘I do not want to be kept in a freezer.’

  14

  Later, after everyone had calmed down a bit and Mum had gone to the hospital canteen with Howard to get him a cup of tea for his migraine and Mitch’s dad had gone to the pharmacy with Mitch’s mum to get her some antacid for her stomach, Pearl crept back into Gran’s room.

  Gran was asleep.

  Pearl sat by the bed.

  Poor thing, she thought.

  No wonder you’re exhausted after all that mayhem.

  People weeping at you.

  Pleading with you.

  Waving private hospital brochures in your face.

  Shouting at each other to talk sense to you. Not listening to you.

  Gran stirred and took a couple of sharp breaths and something rattled in her chest.

  Pearl hoped it wasn’t confetti from the parade lodged in her windpipe.

  ‘Have a cough, Gran,’ she whispered. ‘Get it out.’

  Gran slept on.

  Pearl looked at the clear liquid in the plastic tube running into the back of Gran’s hand.

  She hoped it was the strongest pain killer in the whole world.

  That’s the least those doctors can do, thought Pearl, after treating you like that.

  Lecturing you.

  Quoting hospital rules at you.

  Patting your hand and telling you to think of your loving family and not be a selfish girl.

  And not answering, thought Pearl sadly, as she watched the tiny muscles under Gran’s eyes twitch with pain, one simple question.

  ‘Can she be cured?’ asked Pearl.

  The two doctors dozing in front of the TV jumped several centimetres in their vinyl armchairs and spilled coffee on their trousers.

  They blinked and looked around and saw Pearl.

  And frowned.

  ‘This rest area is for medical staff only,’ said one. ‘Visitors have to go to the canteen.’

  ‘But they don’t have to eat the food,’ said the other. ‘Fortunately.’

  They both chuckled.

  Great, thought Pearl. Gran’s life is in the hands of Kermit and Fozzy.

  ‘I just want to know if she can be cured,’ said Pearl. ‘Please.’

  ‘Who are we talking about?’ said the first doctor.

  ‘My Gran,’ said Pearl. ‘In Room 14.’

  The doctors exchanged a glance.

  ‘She’s comfortable and sleeping peacefully,’ said the first doctor.

  ‘Can she be cured?’ asked Pearl.

  ‘The hospital she’s going to tomorrow,’ said the first doctor, ‘has the best facilities in the country.’

  ‘Can she be cured?’ asked Pearl.

  The doctors looked at each other.

  ‘It’s OK,’ said Pearl. ‘I can take it. I’ve already had one close family member die recently.’

  The second doctor looked at Pearl.

  ‘No,’ he said, ‘she can’t be cured.’

  I can take it, Pearl told herself.

  I can take it.

  But her hands couldn’t.

  They started shaking.

  Then the rest of her couldn’t either.

  After she’d stopped shaking and convinced the doctors she was OK, Pearl crept back into Gran’s room.

  Mitch was sitting on the bed talking to Gran.

  ‘I’m sending him messages every five minutes,’ Mitch was saying. ‘Doug’s a busy bloke, but he’s got to check in with his secretary sooner
or later. Angels have to, it’s in their contract.’

  Gran smiled wearily.

  ‘Mitch,’ she said, ‘there’s something I have to tell you about Doug.’

  ‘No,’ said Mitch, jumping off the bed. ‘Don’t try and tell me that bull about Doug not being real.’

  He turned angrily and saw Pearl.

  ‘She’s her own worst enemy,’ he said. ‘How’s Doug meant to save her when she won’t even believe in him?’

  Pearl didn’t know what to say.

  ‘I believe in him,’ said Gran, ‘cause I know he’s real.’

  Mitch stared at Gran.

  Gran patted the bed.

  ‘Both of you,’ she said.

  They went over to the bed and sat and waited for Gran to struggle with a rattly breath.

  ‘When I was a kid,’ said Gran, ‘my parents didn’t like me. Dunno why.’

  She took another rusty exhaust-pipe breath.

  ‘I turned into a bit of a ratbag. Cause of that other people didn’t like me much either. Then, when I was fifteen, I met a young bloke who did. Other people reckoned he was an idiot for wasting his time with me, but he told them to boil their heads. He cared about me. Dunno why, but he did. I’ll give you an example. He reckoned I could be Carnival Queen. I knew I couldn’t cause I was too tall and I had a face like a boot, but he reckoned I could. Then he drowned.’

  Gran struggled with another breath.

  ‘His name,’ she said to Mitch, ‘was Doug.’

  Pearl watched as Mitch struggled with a breath himself.

  ‘Later on, when you were a scared little kid, Mitch,’ continued Gran, ‘and I wanted to tell you about someone extra special who’d be keeping an eye out for you … well … I probably shouldn’t have done, but I picked Doug.’

  Gran struggled to put her hand on Mitch’s arm.

  With Pearl’s help she managed it.

  ‘The truth is Mitch,’ said Gran, ‘I don’t know if Doug’s an angel or not.’

  Pearl held her breath while Mitch and Gran looked at each other.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ said Gran.

  Mitch stood up.

  ‘You might think Doug’s just some dead bloke,’ he said, eyes blazing with anger and hurt, ‘but he’s gunna save your life, you wait and see.’

  He ran out of the room.

  Gran gave a long rattly sigh.

  ‘Poor kid,’ she said, wiping her eyes. ‘I’m a prize dope. I should have told him ages ago, not leave it till the end. My trouble is I don’t like painful stuff. I’m an old coward.’

  Pearl picked up one of Gran’s big wrinkled hands.

  ‘No you’re not,’ she said softly.

  She held Gran’s hand while Gran’s breathing became slower and quieter.

  When Gran had drifted into sleep, Pearl let tears fill her eyes and run down her cheeks.

  She sat in the dark room like that for a long time, stroking Gran’s hair until the adults came back.

  15

  ‘Stop that talk right now,’ said Mum, the carton of takeaway in her hand trembling with anger, ‘or I’ll wash your mouth out with detergent.’

  Pearl couldn’t stop.

  Even though she could see it was upsetting Howard, she couldn’t stop for Gran’s sake.

  ‘If she wants to die,’ said Pearl, ‘she should be allowed to.’

  Mum thumped the takeaway carton down onto the table. Beef chow mein splashed onto the wall.

  ‘In case you’ve forgotten,’ said Mum, ‘she’s Howard’s mother. And I care a lot about her too and so should you.’

  ‘That’s why we have to help her,’ said Pearl.

  Howard reached across the table and poured himself another whisky.

  ‘Don’t talk about things you don’t understand,’ he said.

  ‘We helped Winston,’ said Pearl.

  Howard coughed whisky into his fried rice.

  ‘I’m warning you Pearl,’ said Mum.

  ‘Winston,’ said Howard, ‘was a guinea pig.’

  Pearl wiped a piece of fried pork off her eyelid.

  ‘You said it was a shame,’ she said, ‘to make him suffer a couple of weeks of pointless pain and misery, remember?’

  ‘Howard’s mother,’ said Mum, ‘is a person.’

  ‘I know,’ said Pearl.

  She felt her voice wobble.

  Don’t start crying, she said to herself.

  Gran needs you too much.

  ‘Why can guinea pigs be saved from pointless pain and misery,’ said Pearl, ‘and not people?’

  Howard banged his glass down onto the table. Whisky and soda splashed over the lemon chicken.

  ‘Because doctors don’t do that sort of thing,’ he said. ‘They can’t. They’re not allowed to.’

  Pearl took a deep breath and looked at Howard.

  ‘Then why don’t you help her?’

  ‘Because,’ said Howard, his face dark with anguish, ‘I’m a vet.’

  ‘Pearl,’ said Mum, ‘go to your room.’

  Pearl went to her room.

  She stayed there until she heard Howard leave and Mum go to bed.

  After that she stayed there another three hours, just to be on the safe side.

  Then she crept into the kitchen and opened the fridge.

  Sorry about the lumps, Gran, she thought as she stirred yoghurt and bran together in a glass, but I daren’t use the blender.

  And sorry there’s no kelp or pollen.

  She had the fleeting thought of ducking out the back and seeing if any of the herbs in the tub were flowering, but she decided not to.

  If she was going to help Gran, it wasn’t pollen she needed.

  Howard’s back door was unlocked.

  Pearl tried to keep her sigh of relief as quiet as possible as she slipped inside.

  Carefully she put the glass of health sludge on the table and shone her torch around the dark kitchen.

  Please, she said to herself, please let it be in here and not under Howard’s bed.

  As her beam moved slowly round the room, dark shapes and wobbly shadows appeared and disappeared.

  Pearl recognised the toaster and the microwave and the milk bottle carrier, but nothing that looked even remotely like a vet’s bag.

  She shone the torch over the whole room again.

  It wasn’t there.

  That meant she’d have to go through the house looking for it.

  A dark house she hardly knew.

  With three adults asleep in it.

  Pearl felt panic start to scrabble deep inside her.

  It wasn’t in her chest yet, but it was on its way.

  She took a deep breath.

  Winston, she thought.

  What would you have done, Winston?

  In her head Winston was looking at her with a familiar expression.

  The expression he used when he was encouraging her not to be such a dope.

  Then it hit her.

  Of course.

  The fridge.

  Vets always keep some of their drugs in the fridge so they don’t go off.

  Pearl tore the fridge door open and there, tinkling in the butter cooler, were small glass bottles.

  Holding the torch close, she studied the labels.

  She didn’t know what half the words meant.

  If only, she thought desperately, animal drug manufacturers had to put the same warning notices on their labels as cigarette manufacturers did.

  THIS PRODUCT KILLS GRANDMOTHERS

  Something like that.

  Then Pearl saw what she was looking for.

  A label that said Horse Tranquilliser.

  That should do it, thought Pearl.

  Gran’s big, but she’s nowhere near as big as a horse.

  Pearl snapped the plastic top off the bottle and tipped the liquid into the glass of health sludge.

  Then she went looking for a spoon to give it a stir.

  She was surprised how quietly she managed to slide the cutlery drawer open.<
br />
  It was so quiet she was able to hear quite clearly someone opening the kitchen door and coming in behind her.

  Pearl froze.

  Then she swung round with the torch.

  Standing there, blinking in the circle of light, was Mitch.

  They looked at each other.

  Pearl felt the panic fill her chest and rush up her throat.

  She waited for Mitch to yell out for someone.

  His parents.

  Howard.

  Doug.

  But he didn’t.

  ‘I’ve been thinking,’ he said, straightening his pyjama top.

  ‘Yes?’ croaked Pearl.

  ‘I reckon if Doug was gunna save Gran, he’d have done it by now.’

  Mitch took a deep stuttering breath.

  Pearl saw he’d been crying.

  ‘I reckon,’ he said, ‘poor old Gran’s on her own.’

  ‘No she’s not,’ said Pearl. ‘She’s got us.’

  16

  The hospital was almost deserted, but Pearl didn’t want to take any chances.

  Not when it was a matter of life and death.

  She and Mitch stood in the bushes, thinking.

  ‘Gran’s window,’ whispered Mitch. ‘She never sleeps with her window closed.’

  ‘Good on you,’ whispered Pearl.

  She made a silent wish that whoever in the town council had decided to build a single-storey hospital should be rewarded in their life by getting heaps of love from a gran and a guinea pig.

  They found Gran’s room by counting the windows.

  Gran’s window creaked a bit when Pearl pulled it open wider.

  Pearl put her hand on Mitch’s arm to stop him climbing in until she’d checked it was Gran in the bed.

  It was.

  Gran’s eyes were closed and her mouth was open and in the pale glow of the nightlight her face looked smaller than Pearl remembered.

  As Pearl swung her leg over the windowsill, a thought stabbed into her and she almost dropped the glass of health sludge.

  Perhaps Gran had died already.

  Pearl tried to hope she had, for Gran’s sake, but she couldn’t do it.

  Mitch clambered in and knocked a vase over.

  Gran opened her eyes.

  She looked at them for a while, wheezing softly, before she spoke.

  ‘G’day,’ she said.

  Then she grinned.

  ‘I was hoping you’d come.’

  Pearl held out the sludge.